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Funny (Anguished English !!!)


   His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

He spoke with wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy
who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of
those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
speaking at high schools about dangers of looking at a solar eclipse
without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access
T flw.quid55328.comaaakk/ch@ung but gets T flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung
by mistake.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
fry them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, star-crossed lovers raced across the
grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from
Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

A politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr.
on a Dr Pepper can.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences
that resembled Nancy Kerrigans teeth.

John & Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
also never met.

The thunder was ominous sounding, much like sound of a thin sheet of
metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola.

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only
one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil,
this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
eating for a while.

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can
tell butter from I Can t Believe It s Not Butter.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
just before it throws up.

It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had
ever seen before.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze, like an oscillating
electric fan set on medium.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as
if she were a garbage truck backing up.

She was as easy as a "TV Guide" crossword.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E.coli and he was
room-temperature beef.
+=========================+++++++++++++++++++

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Posted by : Phoenix , Date : 2004-12-15 , Time : 21:50:07 , From IP : 172.29.7.217

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